Worship & Wonder 7: Sacrifice

Believe me, it was often thus:

In solitary cells, on winter nights

A sudden sense of joy and warmth

And a resounding note of love.

And then, unsleeping, I would know

A-huddle by an icy wall:

Someone is thinking of me now,

Petitioning the Lord for me.

My dear ones, thank you all

Who did not falter, who believed in us!

In the most fearful prison hour

We probably would not have passed

Through everything - from end to end,

Our heads held high, unbowed -

Without your valiant hearts

to light our path.

‘Believe me’

Irina Ratushinskaya

(Kiev, 10 Oct. 1986)

This poem was written the day after Irina Ratushinskaya was released from prison for the crime of being an unofficial poet in the Soviet Union.   Charged in 1982 with ‘anti-Soviet agitation and propaganda’ she was sentenced to seven years hard labour in a ‘strict regime’ labour camp followed by five years internal exile.  She was subject to years of KGB brutality and torture, often in freezing solitary cells for refusing to renounce her Christian faith, refusing to inform on fellow prisoners, and for refusing to say she would never write poetry again.  Incredibly, she continued to write poetry into her bar of soap in prison, memorising them until she had a scrap of paper that might be written on in the tiniest writing and smuggled out.

These smuggled out writings spread across the globe, and Amnesty International went to report on conditions in her camp.  Irina Ratushinskaya’s case caused such an outcry in the ‘west’, not least amongst fellow amongst poets and Christians, that she was released as part of the negotiations for the summit between Presidents Reagan and Gorbachev in Reykjavik on 9 October 1986.  

Ratushinskaya underwent horrors not just for her own sake, but particularly for her fellow women prisoners, going on hunger strike when any of them were mistreated.

I am in awe of such principle and faith; such clarity about taking a stand in compassionate solidarity with others’ suffering, in the face of the threat of further brutality and punishment.

I cannot but be humbled by her living reminder that poetry, which in ‘enlightened’ 21st century English society we deign to treat as a ‘luxury extra’, is of such vital importance as a sign and tool of God’s creativity that it is worth dying for.

Lastly, I am astonished to find that I am part of the community of ‘dear ones’ to whom she speaks.  As a young teenager I read her poems and prayed for her release.

Little did I think that my prayer could make a difference in the face of the terrible torments that were inflicted on her.  But it clearly did.

Further than that, Ratushinskaya calls me ‘valiant’; merely (!) by praying for her, I could inspire her to stand firm in her faith and her solidarity and her compassion.

Why do I not remember prayer has this power when I bemoan how little I am able to do in an active way to support others who are suffering, whether close to home or on the other side of the globe?

‘Petitioning the Lord’ for those whom we think of, is precisely the way that God, my neighbour, and I are all connected; we are fused in the dance of love and light that goes far, far beyond what my fuzzy feelings about prayer might be.

This is why Ratushinskaya inspires me.  In word and in deed, in heart and in will, she is an unflinching example of a Christian determined to respond to St Paul’s urging to worship God by making every pore and cell of her body a ‘living sacrifice’:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

(Romans 12.1-2, The Message)

prayer flag of a valiant heart. Canon 7d. f10. 1/640. ISO 200.